One Foot on a Banana Peel

I have an addiction that kicks in just about this time every year.  It is one that drives my family and friends nuts.  I plan my life around it as much as I can.  What is it, you ask, that tempts me so?

Christmas movies.

Yep, I’m hooked on Christmas movies and the cheesier, campier and more over-the-top they are the better I like them.  My movie collection includes a large number of holiday classics, but I’m always on the lookout for new ones.  I’m in my glory now that ABCFamily has begun its 25 Days of Christmas.  A guide to every holiday special airing for the next month rests handily by my spot on the couch and you know I’m going to see Deck the Halls at the theater (C’mon…Danny Devito’s character wants his house to be seen from space!).

In honor of the season I thought that today I’d share a list of my very favorite Christmas movies.  And no, this doesn’t include all the Rankin-Bass specials, Charlie Brown or the rest.  I’m hooked on those, too, but that’s a whole other catagory.  So here’s my top 13 Christmas movies.

13.  Christmas With The Kranks

I’ve always liked Tim Allen and Jamie Lee Curtis.  Together they’re hilarious as a suburban couple trying to save the family Christmas.

12. Elf

Will Farrell is so over the top to begin with.  How could a Christmas movie starring him not be as goofy as it gets?  James Caan is great as a dad just learning he has an adult son who thinks he’s an elf.  Bob Newhart also appears as Elf’s elf dad.

11.  Home Alone

A family goes on vacation at Christmas and in the ensuing confusion doesn’t realize they’ve left the youngest child behind until they are flying over the Atlantic on the way to Paris.  It’s a good old romp where the kid is smarter than the bad guys.

10.  A Christmas Carol

All versions of this story are good, but my favorite has George C. Scott as Scrooge.

9.  Scrooged

Bill Murray is yet another over-the-top SNL veteran whose antics greatly amuse me.  Scrooged is a modern-day retelling of A Christmas Carol that, while really funny, is also maybe a bit darker because of some of the modern elements and the special effects.

8.  The Santa Clause

Tim Allen’s second appearance on my list.  I like this one for a million goofy reasons like:  elves with attitude, Santa’s strut to Sharp Dressed Man and an endless parade of truly ugly sweaters.

7.  Jingle All The Way

I love action heros when they get all silly and Arnold is the best.  Here he is, the governor of California and he doesn’t take himself too seriously.  In Jingle All the Way he’s in a mad-capped race against a mailman, played by Sinbad, to find the last Turboman in town.  What parent hasn’t been there?

6.  Surviving Christmas

This is Ben Affleck’s foray into the Christmas movie scene.  He is hilarious (and also touching) as a filthy rich guy who has no clue about human relationships or Christmas.  He hires himself a family to live out his idea of the perfect family Christmas.

5.  It’s A Wonderful Life

Well, you knew this one would be on the list didn’t you?  Jimmy Stewart is so cornball, you gotta love him.  And this movie taught me that, "Every time a bell rings, an angel gets his wings."

4.  How The Grinch Stole Christmas

Oh, man I just love Whoville!  It doesn’t get any cheesier than this.  Do you not love the houses?  The clothes?  The hair?  And I have sooo got to get me one of those guns that shoots Christmas lights onto your house.

3.  White Christmas

As I tell my kids…..it ain’t Christmas till Bing sings White Christmas.  I love the elaborate sets and musical numbers and Danny Kaye is a hoot.

2.  Christmas Vacation

This is one movie the family doesn’t complain about watching.  We have worn out two copies and it is still a part of our holiday traditions.  Nothing says Christmas like Cousin Eddie pumping sewage into the storm drain.

And number one on my must see list….

1.  A Christmas Story

I’ve worn out a couple copies of this one, too, even though TBS shows it for 24 hours straight every Christmas.  This is the bestest, funniest Christmas movie ever made and it’s become tradition for the whole family (and anyone else here) to watch it together one time on Christmas Day.  I pretty much know it word for word.

There you have it.  Now when you’re feeling stressed by all you have to get done before the fat guy in the red suit pays a visit, you know what to do.  Get your hands on one of these movies, pop some corn, put your feet up, laugh your hiney off and forget about it for a while.

Now, don’t get excited.  That is not my house.  And much like the open letter to guests in my Thanksgiving post, Christmas is not a Martha Stewart endorsed event at my house, either.  At the moment, my house bears a closer resemblance to the Grinch’s cave in Jim Carey’s version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas than anything ol’ Martha dreamed up.  Chaos.  Utter chaos.

We did get the new floor put down in the livingroom on Sunday, but we still need to put in the thresholds, the baseboard and the 1/4 round.  All of which means we still need to move every bit of furniture at least one more time.  I was fine with that.  Okay, so I wasn’t fine.  I’d have been fine if we’d finished a couple of months ago.  I was…..resigned.  But Tim, feeling bad that I didn’t get to decorate the day after Thanksgiving like I always do, did the logical thing and brought every single box of decorations in from the shed and told me to go ahead and decorate.  Uh, the problem with that is that many of the decorations are F-R-A-G-I-L-E and 0-L-D and I-R-R-E-P-L-A-C-I-B-L-E.  If I load every surface up with decorations before we move the furniture….you know what’s going to happen (in spite of Tim’s assurances to the contrary). 

Last night I did give in to Meg’s begging and we put up the tree and decorated it.  At least it slides fairly easily and most of the breakables are securely attached to branches (I hope).  As for the rest, there is a narrow path through my livingroom and kitchen.  Boxes are stacked everywhere.  Contents are strewn willy-nilly from the search for ornaments (and just plain old nosiness on Megan’s part). 

Tim says he will get going on the baseboard tonight and at the very least get the wall behind the entertainment center done so I can put my huge collection of Santas on its shelves.  We’ll see.

Fa-la-la-la.  La-la-la-la.

I hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving and has had sufficient time to sleep off the effects of too much turkey.  We’ve had a nice holiday.  Thursday and Friday were spent with family, including Tim’s sister and her family from Alabama.  Their oldest son, who I’ve always had a special relationship with, also came and that was a surprize.  He brought his wife of 2 years.  We hadn’t met her before and were thrilled to find her a lovely, shy girl……and she’s pregnant!  I’m going to be a great-aunt. 

The same sister’s youngest son (who recently put us all through a cancer scare-he’s ok) is a mere 4 weeks older than Megan and it became very apparent on this visit that the two of them are cut from the same cloth.  They don’t look alike, but oh my, do they ever act alike and move alike.  They like the same things, hate the same things and they both have A.D.D. and struggle with school.  They have always been connected.  There was a time when they were not quite 2, that we put them in a playpen for a nap.  When we checked on them later, they were lying on their backs sound asleep but with his thumb in her mouth and her thumb in his mouth.

Megan has had a ball with all this family togetherness (it is unfortunately a rare thing) and stayed with all her cousins until Saturday evening.  The downside to all the time spent with them is country girl that she is, she is enamored of all things related to Alabama and is convinced it is heaven on earth.  She is also speaking with an exaggerated (and annoying) southern accent.

I had the house to myself on Saturday so spent the morning cleaning and moving some things around in preparation for Christmas.  Normally, I put up the tree and decorations the day after Thanksgiving, but that went out the window this year.  Even if I hadn’t spent Black Friday shopping with my sisters-in-law and nieces, the livingroom remodel still isn’t finished.  We’re getting there, though.  Saturday evening we went to Lowe’s after Tim got home and bought the flooring.  Yesterday he put it down.  Sweet!  He still has to put the baseboard and 1/4 round down, but that’s it.  I should be able to start putting the tree up tomorrow.

Megan had a friend spend the night and they, along with both dogs, are snuggled up into a big pile on the air mattress in the livingroom.  Obviously, there is no school today.  It’s the first day of deer hunting season, which ranks right up there in these parts with Christmas, Thanksgiving and July Fourth.  If school was in session there’d be no boys in class and most of the male teachers would call off as well.

I am off to thumb through cookie recipes since my sisters-in-law decided I can make all the cookies for Christmas. 

Blinkie by LilmsGlitter

Hey, Happy Turkey Day, y’all!  Matt’s coming home tonight and it’ll be run, run, run for the next few days.  We’re having dinner with my mom and her husband early tomorrow then heading to Tim’s sister’s place to get together with his family.  Megan’s going to spend a few nights away from home with her cousins and Saturday should bring them all here for a night.  Friday’s a girls’ day out with my sisters-in-law and nieces.  Tim is taking Matt home on his way to work Friday.  Matt is working from 5:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. at his new job at Radio Shack because someone just quit and they didn’t have time to hire anyone else yet.  It’ll be a long day, but a nice paycheck and he should get some great commissions with the Christmas shopping kicking off.

Well, there is much to do and little time so I’m going to leave you with a funny letter I received in an email. 

Just a note to let you know we are hoping to see you Thanksgiving Day
But….

I hope you aren’t too disappointed that Martha Stewart will not be
dining with us this Thanksgiving.She probably won’t come next year either.

**Just thought of something we can all be thankful for.  I heard on the news yesterday that Fox has decided the O.J. interview isn’t going to air.  Woot!  I’ve also heard the book deal isn’t going to happen either. 

I’ve seen this meme in several places lately and since life is kind of busy this week, what with Turkey Day and all, and I’ve got a bit of a bug that has my brain feeling fuzzy, I thought this would be a good time to play along. 

The bolded items are things I’ve done. 

01. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
02. Swam with wild dolphins
03. Climbed a mountain
04. Taken a Ferrari for a test drive
05. Been inside the Great Pyramid
06. Held a tarantula
07. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
08. Said “I love you” and meant it
09. Hugged a tree
10. Bungee jumped
11. Visited Paris
12. Watched a lightning storm at sea
13. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
14. Seen the Northern Lights
15. Gone to a huge sports game
16. Walked the stairs to the top of the leaning Tower of Pisa.
17. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
18. Touched an iceberg
19. Slept under the stars
20. Changed a baby’s diaper
21. Taken a trip in a hot air balloon
22. Watched a meteor shower
23. Gotten drunk on champagne
24. Given more than you can afford to charity
25. Looked up at the night sky through a telescope
26. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the worst possible moment
27. Had a food fight
28. Bet on a winning horse
29. Asked out a stranger
30. Had a snowball fight
31. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
32. Held a lamb
33. Seen a total eclipse
34. Ridden a roller coaster
35. Hit a home run
36. Danced like a fool and not cared who was looking
37. Adopted an accent for an entire day
38. Actually felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
39. Had two hard drives for your computer
40. Visited all 50 states
41. Taken care of someone who was drunk.
42. Had amazing friends 43. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
44. Watched wild whales
45. Stolen a sign
46. Backpacked in Europe.
47. Taken a road-trip
48. Gone rock climbing
49. Midnight walk on the beach
50. Gone sky diving
51. Visited Ireland
52. Been heartbroken longer than you were actually in love
53. In a restaurant, sat at a stranger’s table and had a meal with them
54. Visited Japan
55. Milked a cow
56. Alphabetized your CDs (It was record albums…I’m old, okay)
57. Pretended to be a superhero
58. Sung karaoke
59. Lounged around in bed all day
60. Played touch football
61. Gone scuba diving
62. Kissed in the rain
63. Played in the mud
64. Played in the rain
65. Gone to a drive-in theater
66. Visited the Great Wall of China
67. Started a business
68. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken 
69. Toured an ancient site
70. Taken a martial arts class
71. Played Dungeons & Dragons for more than 6 hours straight
72. Gotten married
73. Been in a movie
74. Crashed a party
75. Gotten divorced
76. Gone without food for 5 days
77. Made cookies from scratch
78. Won first prize in a costume contest
79. Ridden a gondola in Venice
80. Gotten a tattoo
81. Rafted the Snake River
82. Been on television news programs as an “expert”
83. Got flowers for no reason
85. Been to Las Vegas
86. Recorded music
87. Eaten shark
88. Kissed on the first date
89. Gone to Thailand
90. Bought a house
91. Been in a combat zone
92. Buried one/both of your parents
93. Been on a cruise ship
94. Spoken more than one language fluently well enough to have a decent conversation
95. Performed in Rocky Horror
96. Raised children
97. Followed your favorite band/singer on tour
99. Taken an exotic bicycle tour in a foreign country
100. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
101. Walked the Golden Gate Bridge
102. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking
103. Had plastic surgery
104. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
105. Wrote articles for a large publication
106. Lost over 100 pounds
107. Held someone while they were having a flashback
108. Piloted an airplane
109. Touched a stingray 
110. Broken someone’s heart
111. Helped an animal give birth
112. Won money on a T.V. game show
113. Broken a bone
114. Gone on an African photo safari
115. Had a facial part pierced other than your ears
116. Fired a rifle, shotgun, or pistol
117. Eaten mushrooms that were gathered in the wild
118. Ridden a horse
119. Had major surgery
120. Had a snake as a pet
121. Hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon
122. Slept for more than 30 hours over the course of 48 hours
123. Visited more foreign countries than U.S. states
124. Visited all 7 continents
125. Taken a canoe trip that lasted more than 2 days
126. Eaten kangaroo meat
127. Eaten sushi
128. Had your picture in the newspaper
129. Changed someone’s mind about something you care deeply about
130. Gone back to school
131. Parasailed
132. Touched a cockroach
133. Eaten fried green tomatoes
134. Read The Iliad
135. Selected one “important” author who you missed in school, and read
136. Killed and prepared an animal for eating 
137. Skipped all your school reunions
138. Communicated with someone without sharing a common spoken language
139. Been elected to public office
140. Written your own computer language
141. Thought to yourself that you’re living your dream 
142. Had to put someone you love into hospice care
143. Built your own PC from parts
144. Sold your own artwork to someone who didn’t know you
145. Had a booth at a street fair
146. Dyed your hair
147. Been a DJ
148. Shaved your head
149. Caused a car accident
150. Saved someone’s life
151. Finished a marathon

Big Ben and the boys took a beating in Cleveland, but dished out some hard-played football themselves and managed to come from behind to win 24 - 20.  They still have to face the undefeated Ravens twice.  Depending on what they do in those meetings, Pittsburgh is still very much in the running for a wild card spot.  And we all know what they can do with that.

It can’t be just me (at least I hope it isn’t) that is absolutely horrified by this week’s announcements that

1. Reagan Publishing is going to publish a book by O.J. Simpson.  One where he still swears he "didn’t do it," but details how he would have done it….if he had.
2. Fox Broadcasting’s decision to air a two-part interview with O.J. in which he himself will say how he would have done it.

What in the name of all that is holy are these people thinking?  You’d think O.J. would have some concern for his children, who should not have to read or hear how their father would have killed their mother "if he had."  But in all that has gone before, O.J. has already proven himself an asshole supreme (my apologies to my more delicate readers).  I just would have expected more from a publishing company and even from Fox, who doesn’t always have the best judgement.  I guess it all comes down to one thing…$$$$$$!

What a sad comentary on the direction our society is headed, but we can redeem ourselves by not buying, borrowing or reading the book and by not tuning in to the interview.

It’s back to work today following a four-day weekend. At least that means it’s a short week and next week will be even shorter with the Turkey Day break. The only downside to all the days off is greatly reduced paychecks.  The kids in the school district I drive for only have classes 17 days this month.  Other districts have similar schedules.  You wonder where the "wisdom" came from to make November a throw-away month?  The kids haven’t been back long enough to need all that time off yet.  It’d make more sense to have a longer Christmas break or give some kind of break in January and February when everyone has the mid-winter blues.

The weekend was nice, not exciting, but nice.  Friday I met some friends for lunch and a little bit of shopping.  I went without kids but they kept calling me…Matt to tell me all the details of his life and Megan to nag me to buy her something.  We ended the afternoon at Barnes & Noble, where my friends pooped out after just a few minutes.  I stayed on by myself and got to enjoy browsing the books ALL BY MYSELF (how delicious was that?) to my heart’s content.  Sweet!  Any you’ll never believe it, but I didn’t buy a single book.  ‘Course my wish list has grown significantly.

Saturday morning Megan and I slept in a little bit then picked up the side of beef we ordered at the packing house.  They loaded it into the car for us, but we had to carry it into the house and find room in the freezer for all of it.  Megan hates going to the packing house because of the gross-factor, but she was pretty good about it and was a big help putting it in the freezer.  As a reward I took her and her friend, Allie, to Taco Bell for lunch and then to Wal-Mart.  Tim was home by the time we got back….rained out at work.  He had a headache so slept the rest of the afternoon.  When he got up we drove to Greensburg to find him a new pair of workboots, which is always an ordeal.  He is as picky about workboots as teenage girls are about prom dresses.  Given the choice, I’d rather have a root canal than go with him to shop for boots.  Anyway, one of the places we looked this time was a leather shop someone suggested.  Tim didn’t find anything he wanted, but I’ll be going back next payday to pick up the gorgeous pair of cowboy boots Megan tried on and wants for Christmas.  We called for a pizza and picked it up on the way home.

Tim worked on getting more of the trim up in the livingroom on Sunday.  Megan and I worked on the mountain of laundry she pulled out of the nooks and crannies of her room and delivered about 100 Avon brochures.  One of the brochures went to a woman who used to be a good friend and still is Megan’s pediatrician.  She is from the church we left last year and while we still talk now and then, the friendship is really strained because of all that happened among the leadership (which we were part of) and because while I don’t mind seeing the people now and then, Tim wants absolutely nothing to do with them.  It’s hard because there was a core group of us whose families were so close we were like family to each other and now we’ve lost that.  Oy, I need to swerve away from that train of thought.  Church politics can really get me started.  Soooo…..the "sort-of" friend invited us in to see her new house (it’s gorgeous) and talk a little.  It wasn’t too bad till she started asking about Tim and where we are with going to church.  I beat a hasty retreat at that point.  Tim wanted steak for supper so I broiled a couple of t-bones from the meat we got on Saturday and baked some potatoes.  Mmmm-mmm!

Yesterday I didn’t do squat.  I read a book, played on the computer and just enjoyed myself except for a load or two of laundry and making supper.

Oh yeah, uh-huh….that’s right!  The boys in Black & Gold sent ‘em packing back to New Orleans yesterday.  Joey Porter’s pregame round of finger-pointing at teammates he felt weren’t pulling their weight seems to have jarred the team back into action.  Porter’s teammates were hurt, embarassed and ticked off following his little rant.  Rather than fall apart (even more) they harnessed all that emotion and played yesterday like the Super Bowl Champions they are.  ‘Bout time.

*GLOATING*