This business of having an adult child is hard. No one could have prepared me for how incredibly difficult it is to stand back and watch your child, flesh of your flesh, the being you have poured all your energies, wisdom, values and love into for the last 20 years, chuck it all out the window and make really stupid choices.
I should have paid more attention in gym class, because this balancing act of being supportive without condoning, gently guiding without seeming controling, helping without enabling, would be a challenge even for the great Nadia Comanichi and all her perfect 10s on the balance beam. I hope God has put down a lot of floor mats because I am sure I’m going to fall flat on my face soon. Patience has never been one of my virtues and right now I am stretched to the limit. I am doing a lot of tongue biting and teeth grinding.
There’s only one lesson from eighth grade physics that I remember, that for each and every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. In other words, what goes around, comes around. So, in the great cosmic kharma soup I figure I had this coming for my own actions at the ripe old age of 20. My mom is upset and worried about Matt, it’s true, but I am sure there is a small part of her mind that has made popcorn, propped up its feet and is enjoying the show.
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I decided on the Baxter Black book to start my reading. Everyone who commented was right….the book’s a hoot. The man lifts "creative" writing to a whole new level. His characters are so over the top, and yet, you can recognize someone you know in them. I’ve already decided that Black’s other books are going on the "To Read" list.
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Winter is really, really here. It’s been snowing for three days now, not that we have a whole lot of snow to show for it, but the ground is white. And getting whiter by the hour. By this time tomorrow we’re supposed to have anywhere from 2-6 inches of the fluffy white stuff. It’s also really cold. Only about 24 today. Tomorrow they say it will be 15 or less with a windchill well below zero. Sounds like a good day for a snow day to me. 
You nevedr get a snow day when you want one.Don’t say anything to your son that you will regret later. read another book instead. I know its hard. I’ve been there. Even now I sometimes want to tell them what to do for their own good.
Comment by Dr. John — January 25, 2007 @ 8:23 pm
I once saw a quote:
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide to have your heart go walking around outside of your body.
Still not much snow here in SE Mich. Occasionally flurries here and there but not much sticking to the ground…until this morning but even then it was less than an inch. It IS VERY cold here too tho! Brrrr.
Comment by chesneygirl — January 26, 2007 @ 3:45 pm
Just keep praying and having faith for God to resolve it. Easy for me to say but there’s really not much else you can do that helps
.
Comment by Rachel — January 26, 2007 @ 4:35 pm
Thanks for the advice everyone! Believe me, I am sending up prayers constantly…not only for him, but for me to be able to keep my mouth shut and handle the situation right.
Ches, the quote about a child being your heart walking around outside of you is spot on. And we now have LOTS of snow.
Comment by Stacy — January 26, 2007 @ 7:00 pm
I am enjoying hearing my children tell their children what i told them as they were growing up. My children are becoming me now that they are parents. It is my quiet revenge.
Comment by jan — January 26, 2007 @ 9:47 pm
Oh man, my heart is with you Stacy! I thought the teen years were going to be the worst until they all turned 20. The only advice I can give you is …no matter what you say they will still do what they want.
Comment by Kat — January 26, 2007 @ 11:18 pm