Today is my Friday. Yeah, that’s right. No work for me tomorrow. There are no classes in the school district I drive for. Woot! Meg’s school district, however, does have classes. Neener, neener, neener. (I have to rub it in now because she will start summer vacation a week before me.) Anyway, since I’m in such a good mood I thought I’d leave you all with something to laugh about.
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For the redneck on the go.
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One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Looky thar up ahead Earl. It’s a po-leece roadblock. We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!"
"Don’t worry Bubba," Earl said. "We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles under the seat."
"What fer?" asked Bubba.
"Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl.
They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads.
When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "Have you boys been drinking?"
"No sir." said Earl. "We’re on the patch."
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Okay, I admit it. I want me one of these.
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And you thought horseshoes was already a redneck game.
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Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools .
What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
Documentaries.
Where was the toothbrush invented? Arkansas. If it was invented
anywhere else, it would have been called a teethbrush.
Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Tennessee State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.
A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they’re still brother and sister.
What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in
Florida have in common?
No matter what, somebody’s fixin’ to lose a trailer.
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Barbie’s newest incarnation (note the cigarettes and beer).
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Times have changed. Years ago…..When 100 white men chased 1 black man, they called it the Ku Klux Klan. .
Today they call it the PGA TOUR!
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.
Why do drivers education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
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You probably won’t get too many visits from the Jehovah’s Witnesses with this little beauty of a door bell.
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And even a redneck wedding isn’t complete without cake.
I want want of dem travel trailers ya got att da beginnin.
Comment by Dr. John — March 29, 2007 @ 8:11 pm
Oh, I am snickering here. THANK YOU.
I was born in Iowa and currently live in Nebraska. When I lived in Maryland for awhile after med school, I actually had someone ask me if it was hard to make those hay stacks.
Wha? Oh, yeah! That’s right! If you are from Iowa or Nebraska, you are born with that knowledge!
Comment by Maria — March 30, 2007 @ 11:48 am
I’ll take a twinkie, please…
Comment by MamaLee — March 31, 2007 @ 8:35 am
Bein’ a native Iowan transplanted to Colorado, I know all about haystacks. But I just learned about how deevorce in the South lets husband and wife remain brother and sister.
That is so….weird
Comment by Skunkfeathers — March 31, 2007 @ 4:36 pm
Thanks for the redneck giggles.You totally brightened my day
Comment by jan — April 1, 2007 @ 5:34 pm
Love the doorbell!
Comment by Janet — April 18, 2007 @ 11:27 am